Brigadoon - Piegaro

This morning I arose early and discovered the clouds were very low, and it was very misty here in Piegaro.  I remember a day like that last spring, a day I wrote of in an article called "almost Brigadoon."  Brigadoon is a story, best remembered as a movie with Gene Kelly and Cyd Charisse about a successful American city boy who goes to Scotland on a final vacation before marriage and setting his high society life.  There in the hillside getting lost in the midst, he and his companion come across a mysterious village, Brigadoon.  It is in this village where he will find life and love with the people, especially with Cyd.  The dance numbers are full of passion and vitality.

The movie ends with Gene's character returning to find this mystical village, knowing that it disappears and all sleep there except for one day every hundred years.  But Gene is yearning for something he found there, and for something he couldn't find in New York City.  But it wasn't Cyd necessarily.  In fact, as he returns and the town reappears he is reminded that when you truly love, all things are possible.  Is is the love that is within, not something that someone threw over you like a thief stealing you in the night.  It was not in the passion of his initial trip, but in living out his love by returning that gave Brigadoon its magic.

So often we are encouraged to "look for love" - "find love" - "fall in love....as if love is something other, something out there.  However, it seems to me that the depression of our world, the sadness in our society is that we keep waiting for something external to happen to us.  But spirit resides within all of us; with the fullness of life and breath.  A great quote from a friend today, ‎'when life hands you high fructose corn syrup, sodium acid pyrophosphate, yellow 5, magnesium oxide, and >2% natural flavors, make lemonade,' reminds me that life is about what is authentic, we can make lemonade out of lemons, but when we rely on others to hand us what is not real, we will be disappointed.  Spirit is real, it is what moves us to the most real thing in life, Love.  If the great commission is to love God, others and self with our whole heart, miracles of love can happen.  Brigadoon is possible.

In the film it is impossible not to feel Gene Kelly's passion as he dances, sings and kisses his love for Cyd.  The only thing that holds us back from the fullness of living, the fullness of loving is ourselves.  We can live our lives to the fullest when we choose to love others to the fullest.  As I watch the clouds roll over the hillside across from my desk, I feel the magic of this place on my heart....and I know it is my love for this place that allows me to see the magic.  We all have love, the gift from God, each day so when life does give us lemons, we can drink the nector of lemonade.  And sometimes, if we are truly blessed, truly, truly blessed, God shows us our own Brigadoon.

One Constant.....

They day that there is one constant in life, other than God of course, change.  No matter what you do, you cannot stop the ever presence of change in life.  It is always our option to look at the change in our lives as a glass half-full or half-empty.  No better metaphor for this than in my first week here, for my one constant was Caffe Via Roma, my favorite place for coffee, tea, and aperitivo and it is about to change.  A place where I meet my Italian friends, where I study Italian, and where I listen to the locals talk in order to pick up dialect and hopefully, the language.  A place where many locals come in from the cold winter air to play cards, to grab a snack, coffee or other beverage: people young and old gather.  The Caffe was the inspiriation for my two most popular web postings last year, it is a place that makes my heart sing.  It was great to have multiple web sites link into my articles on the Caffe Via Roma and on my favorite barrista, Martin, to have others enjoy my musings on my little piece of heaven.  In my transition time before settling into Colleen's lovely owners apartment, it was sweet last week to have a familiar place to just hang out in the midst of transition. 

This week, as I am feeling more at home in the apartment, getting settled with the processes of the Italian government for my extended stay here(permessio di sojourno), and now the Caffe is preparing to "close."  I put "close" in parenthesis, because it has been sold to the family of another barrista, Lila.  It is not hard to notice the boxes of things to be carted out, to see a few things here and there slipping away from the interior, and to note the sign for the grand opening party for the new Bar-Pub Bottiglia.  It is going to change very quickly, Monday will be the last day of Caffe Via Roma, and the following Sunday the grand openinig party.  Maria and I have already spoken of where we will meet for morning cappuccino during the time between the two owners.  I have returned to my taking photos of the people visiting Via Roma for facebook and here....a great way to meet more people and learn names.  Yet, for me it feels bittersweet.

First the bitter, it is a familiar place, and Martin has really been my favorite barrista, whether helping in my Italian studies, in helping me communicate with others at a level of depth I've never experienced from a barrista before, or simply flashing his dazzling smile, I will miss him at his post.  For the time I've spent here in Piegaro over the past year at various points, all my friends and others in the village don't call it "Via Roma" often, they call it Martin's.  Also I will miss the simple hap-hazzard way of operation of the caffe, the crazy hours always changing, depending on life, not on a calendar or clock... sometimes it is so fabulous to have a place that seems as scattered as oneself in tough parts of life.   

Sweet, it will be so good to have Lila there everyday to chat with, she is a dear girl and I look forward to her place behind the bar, where I first met her last spring.  It will be sweet, because I have been able to get to know her family; Armin, Tonia and Alberto much more this trip and they are simply wonderful, with such amazing spirits.  They have a passion for planning this new venture, from the interior space remodels that reflect the importance of the glass factories in the community, to what music to utilize for the opening, to the menu and sampling each item with care.  It is a wonder to behold, and such great infection energy that it has been such an honor to be invited into parts of this adventure with them.  The Bar-Pub Bottiglia will be a great place as well to hang out, and to enjoy new experiences in!

As I have gone through life, I've experienced more change than the average person, living in 30 different places in less than 45 years.  In my work in various churches one description for me has been "change agent" one who helps communities go through change.  I have realized that there is such a thing as too much change, and also the gift of knowing how to dance through change with grace.

Dancing with grace through change is often in knowing who are your partners in the dance, and being able to keep the beautiful rhythm of life that keeps all in step together, the rhythm of the Spirit!  How we embrace all that has been, all that is to come as part of the dance that brings us to where we are in the moment is the key.  Upon reflection of the hardships of my past year, all the dramatic changes, I can say, ah yes, but it brought me to this place where I am now, in Italy.  Where I will be in 6 months, who knows, all things change, but to enjoy the beauty in the here and now.  To savor the bitter with the sweet, and taste the fullness of life is so good.  Unlike Jesus, I have not been crucified, and always, always there is promise and hope even if I were....for God is here.

Where do you see grace in other people in your life even when things seem in change/turmoil about you?
How do you embrace change as part of a sacred dance?
How do you find the eternal hope?
 

Life is Beautiful

"Life is Beautiful" is one of the most famous of Italian movies, and Ijust finished watching it, I had thought I would go for another film tonight, but I found the movie to be much as my days are here, simply enough.  Enough is a word that some of my Italian friends had not heard of before and so it was an interesting philosophical discussion over the topic of "enough."  Which fits so well with the whole concept of the movie, and even the philosophy of a beautiful life.  In the film we have a family who will go through the various aspects of love, from romance, to parents, to extended family and friends all engaged in the actions of caring for one another.  But it is also a story of pre-war and holocaust horrors, all played out within a family trying to survive the best they can.

Here in Italy I try to balance my days with food, friends, walks, writing, mass and my little mis-adventures of Italian bureacracy along the way, just to add excitment.  The days are very full, simply enough of living the fullness of life.  The highs of hanging with friends and being about being awed and in wonderment of God's creation are balanced by the lows paperwork and details of obtaining a permissio di sojourno (permission to stay).   When I think of any frustrations, it is so small compared to the Awe and wonder I feel at simply being here. 

Each day I like to take a walk, and whereas we had snow last week, this week has been nothing but sunshine so far.  There is something magical about seeing how the light plays differently on the village at different times of day, and in the frost of morning, or the chill of evening, the beauty is amazing.  But behind the beauty of the photos is the COLD of the wind.  Every time we take a walk we see not only the wonder of nature, but the trash of humans.  For all that is beautiful, there is an awareness that we have an amazing amount of control as to what we see, is it the nature or the trash...do we sense more the radiance of the sun, or the chill of the wind?

Today on our walk, Maria not only had me sample some edible plants, but stopped to pick a full bag of herbs for her friend for salad....Now these herbs grow in Seattle, and we pick them as weeds, but let me tell you chicoria (chickory) is a wonderful salad green and it was a wonder to watch her cut the greens so more can grow from the roots, and gather them all carefully for a special dinner her friend was preparing.  Her friend is older and unable to collect these greens herself, and the way Maria cared for friend and nature was a gift to behold.  It filled my heart, it left me with a deep sense of satisfaction, life is beautiful, and it is enough.

It has been a good pattern for me in the last few months to figure out what was "enough" for me, and when to call it a night, or take a rest.  It is wonderful to have the opportunity to be away from the business of work, and take time to let life fill itself.  To realize that without my doing anything laborious, my days can be full and my life can be full.  O.k. so I did do some cleaning and am writing now, but realizing that life with be beautifully satisfied without my having to work so hard at it is a lesson in "enough."

Where have you experienced a sense of "Enough" as grace?
How do you see your life as beautiful?
Is there beauty in the struggle of life for you as well as in the joy?
Where does beauty and enough come together in your life?
How do you find beauty in simply having "our daily bread" to give thanks for? 

All THAT, and a bag of chips!

 

One of the things that seems so lost in our world today is the sense of awe and wonder.  We get so caught up in the day to day minutae of life that we forget to take time to notice the beauty....the beauty not only around us, but also the beauty that IS us.  Coming back to beautiful Piegaro and the beautiful people here, it is often easy to see the awesome wonder that is here, to see the beauty of the hills and mountains.  To be here in a different season, in winter is a totally new experience of beauty that was not here in Spring, late Summer or Fall, in some places it seems stark, and some amazing in the amount of leaves still present on the trees and how life is still bursting forth even as there is snow, and the chill of frost.  It is impossible not to notice that the beauty in winter is different than the beauty in summer. 

The beauty of the people changes as well as patterns of living have changed from living in the streets in the summer, to seeing people out on walks on sunny days, and in other businesses avoiding the cold on rainy or snowy days.  It is amazing how the culture of community still holds but in a different way.  It is wonderful to chat with ladies on a walk and hear their concerns over the darkness of my street, and how I should be safe.  I mention how we have opened the entry gates wider, turned on the lights in the apartment entrance and made it quite visible from the town's piazza.  The beauty is that we are all sharing ideas, concerns and solutions to percieved problems, in little flashes of time while passing on the street, because they ARE important (people ARE important) whereas in the summer there was time to linger on the benches and chat about such things.  The connection with neighbors is still very much there, all the pieces that were there before, but in a new way in this new season.

I like to think that this mirrors ourselves as created beings, we are created in the image of God, and we are so darn multi-faceted.  We are not simply souls searching for enlightenment, but we are embodied - having all the needs of fleshly creation - and we are minds seeking to understand all that is in this great world.  We are pretty impressive creatures.  Just as seeing the village through different seasons and seeing different beauty, seeing the villagers in different seasons and seeing the essential beauty throughout, so it is good to look at self and see the awesomeness and wonder of what God has created.

As many of the women of Mary's Place/Church of Mary Magdalene, I've unfortunately experience physical abuse in my life.  It is hard after a few years of that to look in the mirror and see the awesome wonder of oneself as beautiful.  And yet we are all beautiful, we are all wonders of creation, it is in forgetting that important detail where we go astray and lash out at others.  But there we are mind-body-spirit created beings who are often encouraged to focus on one aspect of our being, and yet we are so complete as to shine through all parts, just as this village is beautiful in all seasons.  I had a friend over this evening who got all prettied up for her sweet heart, and so I joined her, getting all dolled up.  It sort of amazed me to see myself in a mirror, and to realize that physically I was beautiful, to feel a sweet glow this Sunday when I could understand the words of the sermon, which touched my soul and felt beautiful, to understand that through the struggles of learning a new language I was making incredible progress for one little week which is beautiful.  We are all beautiful creations, made to live out our complete being, for as created in God's image, we are creators, we are embodied and we should always know that we are awesome and wonderfully made.

How do you see yourself in a mirror as a beautiful creation?
How do you allow all your senses to proclaim that life is a Good Gift?
What makes you say "Oh God!" with a sense of amazement and wonder that captures the fullness of your creation????  (The opposite of taking the Lord's name in vain)
What do you do, can you do to fulfill your destiny of being created in the Creator's image?  Live out your awesomeness???

Up for an Adventure

Have you ever felt that you were not destined for the quiet, sedentary life that others seem to flourish in?  One of my friends said I could just stand there and adventure would happen....sometimes I think he is right.  My passport and visa arrived in Seattle less than 24 hours of my flight, and the gentleman at the Italian consulate seemed so calm about the whole thing...at this end it is pretty much the same with acquiring my permessio for stay in Italy.  But I think I'm starting to get in the groove of my self identified life of adventure though, and it is taking me back to an attitude about living that befits a Spiritual Director of Spirit.

In seminary my class structure always included spirituality courses to "pad" my theology, systems, and practicum courses....which meant I had my post-master's degree in transforming spirituality long before my master's of divinity degree.  After years of reflection on the topic a couple of things floated to the top - one being that my obvious priority was not the M.Div. required to be a pastor; two that Spirituality is priority; and finally three, that I am not the quiet meditative spiritual person most people think of when they think of Spirituality, as I said adventure just seems to happen...  Living in my new hilltop village, which is a VERY old hilltop village, I have a new perspective on the concept of point of view, how if I want to get pictures on a snowy day, the vista, the view will change depending on where I am in the village.  From the window now I can see the lights of the cemetary glowing beautifully, but from the apartment of my new friends from Australia in the spring they can see and hear the sheep in the valley below.  Both beautiful views/vistas, but very different.

Life is totally about perspective, what do you see????  In our classes in Spirituality our main focus was to pay attention to the words, actions and environment to discern the flow of the spirit and reflect back for the best of those we care for.  Somewhere in the middle of seminary there was an epiphany in my life as I went out to explore the state of Colorado before finishing my studies at Iliff and moving on to Seattle U., a friend in class I should have an "adventure bandana" on to symbolize I was going on an adventure, she said it would be more fun that way.  Thus began a life of adventure bandanas or other such visible accessories in my life that remind me of what is important.  From piercings to tattoos, from scarves to hats, all have meaning that says there is a story of importance in all of the little things in life for me.  Life has a depth of meaning, and we only get one chance through it, do I want to see life as a combination of tragedy, accidents and embarassment, or to see it as a glorious adventure where all things that have gone before have led to this place just pregnant with possibility????  No matter where we are in life, all that has gone before is a prologue to this place in our story that is still unfolding.

In sorting pictures in Seattle, there were so many great shots of the kids in their adventure bandanas as we turned looking at flowers in the fields of skagit valley and whale watching boat trips with no whales into a grand adventure.  Even this week, a grand adventure unfolded as Lila and I walked down from her home in Montegabbione, at a very high altitude with a good 6 inches of snow down to Piegaro, my home, which although is on a hilltop, was not high enough to have any snow accumulation.  It was approximately a 5-6 mile trek, and not something the locals did, so we set out on an "adventure."  We finished our adventure with a "special" drink (an Irish Dream) at the caffe, to close our "adventure."  It was great fun, and the stuff great stories are made of...but with a different perspective, it would have been a long, wet, cold walk home for me, but with creative imagination and hope, it was an adventure, a very beautiful one at that!  It was a reminder that life is good, God is good, and with a sense of spirit all is well in the world. 

Today as my set time to go to the community office to get my "official" letter of permission to stay in Italy got put off beyond the deadline and my visible frustration grew, I was reminded by my friend Martin that I was having another "adventura"....it put it all into perspsective, life, my life as an adventure.  Life is just going to happen, not calm, not quiet, but as a strong wind, a deep breath, a great Spirit, ever flowing.  I am thankful for those who remind me, and who join me on this glorious adventure of life!!

How do you percieve life, what is your keyword of Spirit? Do you have one?
How do you invite others to join in the journey?
How do you envision your life thus far as a prologue, and do you like to imagine the "rest of your book?" 
How willing are you to simply let the future "write" itself?
When you think of Spirit, of that which speaks/sings to your heart - how does it breathe life into you?

Return to Me -

Dean Martin sings a wonderful song in both English and Italian, "Return to Me," the song of a lovelorn Italiano wishing for his girl to return from far away.  I find myself thinking about the charm of returning to a love because you just can't stand being away, and think then about the lighter side of the phrase....  So often we in American culture are encouraged to "don't look back" - "keep on truckin'" - "leave it all behind".  We seem to miss so many opportunities when we do this though.

In returning to Italy and to the lovely town of Piegaro for more than a week or so, I have an opportunity to not "pick up where I left off," to to take relationships to a different level.  I feel I am eating my way through multiple relationships, every breakfast with Maria, lunch or dinner with Lila, and dinner with the Mancarelli family for the first time.  It is a great opportunity to deepen conversations and find out more about others, to know that Carlotta and my daughter Katy are studying for the same field, of the passion the Tietjen family has for their "new" pub, and getting to meet Maria's family.  Returning gives new opportunities for greater knowing.

Returning in a different season was also a great opportunity to see things in a different way, as the cold of winter has taken it's toll on the plants, and within my first week we had snow.  Piegaro is a beautiful little hilltop village, surrounded by mountains and other hills that are taller and it was amazing to see how the snow topped the hills and mountains and the lush green valleys remained lush and green below.  It was truly a new view of God's ever changing beauty, a graphic way of noting the importance of a new point of view when given the opportunity to return.

A microcosm of returning this week was attending the weekly Mass not once, but twice, on Saturday and Sunday.  My Italian is weak at best, but I know the more I relax, the easier it is.  So Saturday was a wash, my new phone rang in church, and it was simply crazy, a total lost cause.  But Sunday, after a wonderful day with friends, a perfect Sabbath, I could relax and truly listen to the sermon, and it was Great!  This is the week of Christian unity and Don Augusto did a marvelous job with the message, for my first Sunday at worship (last week jet lag found me asleep during worship) it was sweet.  A wonderful coincedence of time, a good reminder that it is good to return to things, places and mostly people who touch your heart, so that hearts can sing in new and wonderful ways.

Do you have anything calling upon your heart to return to?
How do you appreciate those things that you keep coming back to that feed your soul?
Just as Jesus' mother Mary seemed to continue to be a presence in his life from birth, to death, to the foundation of the first Christian community, how do you keep your faith and precious relationships open?
How do you listen to the Spirit calling on your heart to know the difference between time to return and time to leave?
What is the most precious thing you have returned to?

Awake to Beauty in Times of Trauma

In the study of Psychology there is what is known as the top 10 list of Trauma.  The list includes things like job loss, children moving out of the house, end of a relationship and moving to a new home.  In the past year and a half I have successfully managed to achieve the top 5 and then some.  For most of the time I look quite relaxed and my friends often comment “how can you be so calm, I would be so stressed.”  The simple answer is, I am stressed, but after growing up in a household of trauma I have mastered the fine art of holding it all in, to keep a poker face for quite a time.  This is not a good thing, but it is what many of us learn as a survival skill.

 As I sit here in the caffe on a typical morning I am doing something different, I am writing, normally I would be studying mio l’ italiano, but I realized I was coming to the end of my poker face, that I was reaching exhaustion with the pace of study.  When I arrived in town it was so wonderful to have so much encouragement from my friends for me to learn the language quickly so we can all talk, but today I realized how the intense study combined with tasks about the villa, living in yet another temporary space, and my friends here sharing concerns (and my worry) about my living alone and getting tasks done needed to meet visa requirements was getting overwhelming.  In less than a week I had a new list of trauma, rather unfortunate given I am in Umbria for rest.  Throw in adjusting to a new culture and I was over the top.

So here I sit, doing the familiar, writing in English, using my beloved words.  As a gift from God a table full of beautiful Australian girls entered and I could spend a little time conversing in my native tongue about what I love so much, the people, place, life and culture of Italy.  There are times in life we need the familiar to provide a place of rest, a place to breathe.  The reality is ,that the root of trauma are things that take us to the unfamiliar.

One of the keys of relaxing in this beautiful place I have journeyed to for rest is to appreciate the familiar, the people who continue to welcome me on a regular basis, make me feel at home.  To breathe the prayers of the mass that is the same the world over ,in peace.  To know that when my friends say, “piano, piano” they mean it, it is o.k. to slow down, when reminded it is time to put away the books, it is an invitation to BE, to relax away from stress, in this I hear echoed through their voices the sound of my son Trevor, reminding me to breathe.  At different times people in America asked why I didn’t take this Sabbatical time to travel to a new place, to Ireland or France.  The simple answer was that I found a place that feeds my soul, that is more and more familiar and as I relax in learning “piano” all is well, and when needed, a morning in English is always available.  Simply put, it is to live in God’s time, to savor not to suffer.

When you name the trauma in your life, do you have space to look for the familiar, to find rest?

What do you fall back on for familiarity (worship, community, family or other)?

What informs your soul that you need rest, how do you make it happen?

Second Language Team-work

My days already have a "regular" pattern that features a certain amount of time with various people who are encouraging me in my study of the Italian language.  You see in the culture of Italy communication is essential, and in public places, on telephones and in the home you know that people are talking to and about one another all the time, the stories of life ARE exchanged. For me to become a part of the community it is essential that I learn the language, but the greatest gift for me is that there are SO MANY people who are taking part in this.


Every morning starts with coffee at the Caffe with Maria, Martin and whoever else shows up.  We stumble through some stuttering conversation on my part, then others launch into a real discussion at a rapid place, while I listen carefully to catch the gist of what is being spoken of.  When Maria leaves I spend part of the morning in the caffe at a table with my books reading, writing trying to make the childish puzzles guide me to success in the written language.  Then comes walk time, usually with Maria, meeting others along the way where the talk is often of how long I am to be here, and how I need to studia, studia so we can all communicate, and how nice it is that I can stay so long and good that Colleen will arrive in April and wonderful, my daughter Katy will come for a visit!  All are welcome into this community with open arms.

By afternoon I am back at the Caffe, with frequent questions of grammar, why, how and what does this mean?!?!?  Then onto daily Mass in the church, with the familiar cadence of the prayers and liturgy that have stood the test of time with words I have heard in 3 other languages and still I stand in awe of the symmetry of the poetry in the holy rites.  After worship I spend a bit more time in the Italian workbook at the Caffe then men start to fill the caffe and it is time to put the books down and just hang out with the guys, listening, and when ever possible joining in the conversation.  It was surprising to hear them speak of my life one night, and realize this is so common, everyone knows about everyone and rather than a culture of gossip, it is a culture of relationship.  What folks know about me informs how folks care for me, just as I learn about others, I know the care they need.  An finally comes my dear friend who has joined me over half my nights here, keeping me from being solamente (unimaginable!) the age of my own kids, she is a breath of fresh air as she learns English from me, and she encourages my Italian. 

It is the essence of Christian Community, when all can seek to know the depth of the heart of others and want to be in full communication / relationship.  It is a reflection of the community in the Book of Acts, where all people were sharing in common, each according to their needs.  When all can share their hearts, our deepest needs can be met.  One of the things I look forward to most is to deeply hear the stories of others more fully and find ways where I can participate in the loving act of meeting the needs of others.

It fills my heart to note the diversity of ages of the folks who participate on the team of promoting the advancement  of one person's learning of a new language so all can communicate well together.

Church of Mary Magdalene has a practice of sharing in worship, in circle that also embraces this notion of community, how do you live fully as a partner in relationship with others?
Do you find a need in your life for community such as this - what can you do to be the creator in God's image you were born to be and participate in allowing this type of community to be nourished in your presence?

Who are We?

One of the keys of a proper retreat is to have a focus, in fact that was a suggestion from one of the women of Mary's for this retreat, "Don't forget WHY you went."  This Sabbatical in Italy is about finding rest, finding heart, and essentially finding LIFE.  While still in Seattle in a conversation with a virtual stranger who was asking me questions I realized that my life's art, something that has woven itself into most of my jobs and volunteer gigs has been story telling.  I've had some pretty outrageous work in my lifetime: tour guide, computer typesetter (first computer needed its own little room!), singing telegram girl, bartender, real estate agent, instructor and pastor.  A revelation today was my great love of learning to speak, listen and speak with brand new words.

I'm not saying it is easy, we are all struggling in the communication department, but I've realized that was my greatest attraction to this village as a place for retreat, it is an amazing community where every successful idea communicated with my friends is celebrated, where stories are so important, including those which carry emotion.  It is interesting to hear my story come out of the mouth of others, sometimes second-hand in this new language.

Which carries back to the WHY of the sabbatical.  Life is best lived out in the open, with the cleansing, healing space to share stories, to hear stories, to allow all to be in community/relationship, this was so modeled by Jesus who told the story of the woman at the well, HER story, to her because it was an important story, he was sharing that she was beloved by God in the midst of a life that others would judge as bad, sinful, or in church thought unclean.  Everyone's story is valuable, and everyone is worthy of love.

In the culture of this village, the sharing of stories is not merely gossip, but a way everyone becomes connected and shares opinions.  The sharing comes during a walk while greeting folks along the way, on the way to church when someone asks, "why would you come when you don't know the language?"**, and at the caffe where discussion of travel visas, dogs and female pastors sparks great debate.  All the pieces of our lives are worthy of consideration, it helps to share them. 

As one person requested for our virtual retreat, "God will reveal what needs to happen."  Today God  unfolded life through the common call: studia, studia, studia 'l Italiano (so we can all understand each other), a great walk to the statue of Padre Pio (Saint who was a spiritual director to the poor), winter "flowers," **an always graceful time of prayer in worship in another language, where the rhythms of the prayers beat as God's heart giving life abundantly and finally a friend reminding it is time to put down the studies and take time to rest and be. 

How do you take time to study and learn to nourish those places where your heart sings?
How do you let God bring the invitations and open your day?
How do you hear the stories of others as a revelation to your own story?
How do you see the beauty of nature even in the cold of winter?
How do you hear God's heartbeat?
How do you take time for rest and "being?"

Going Where the Heart Sings

So I close my eyes and ponder where my heart sings....
for many years that seems to be God's call on my heart, whether friend or stranger;
to ask the essential question, or wheedle about it in a sneaky manner,
"Where does YOUR heart sing?"

We are these strange and wild creations of God; unique in the vastness of creation,
because of the great magnitude of the creator, billions of unique creations are possible.
As the essence of created in the image of this unknowable wonder, we must ponder,
Who we are, why we are, how we got where we are, in this hour, in this place,
"Where does MY heart sing?"

Today my heart sang in the bliss of a missed appointment, that was met/reunited on a walk,
It was the constant echo in the voices of friends, learn our language, let's share stories;
It was in the area beyond communication during worship in a language I know so little of;
In the pulsing beat of the prayers and liturgy that beat like a drum on my soul,
The sound of A heart singing.

For all the years, for all the joy of watching others find their song, the song of their heart,
the song of mind-body-soul yearning to love in the vastness of creation,
It was good to hear my heart sing in rest, respite and so much in the familiar feeling;
God's wondrous creation, living in my own skin, flesh and blood, toil and love.
Mystery Alive in the heart singing.

Why does it often take the depths of pain, the agony of a lonely heart to strain our ears to listen,
To find a place of tranquility or serenity, or even noisy familiarity that lulls us to be aware,
Aware of the deep abiding need of the fullness of creation that constantly calls out our name,
The name of a special creature, borne to create the awesomeness that lies in our beings for others,
To BE the sound of a heart singing.

Listening to the rhythm of prayer and words embedded from countless times of worship,
and yet calling in a new voice, in a new language, my heart was so ready to listen, to dance,
In this place, I hear the sound so loudly, so boldly, singing of the wonderment,
To invite, to spy, to be the ever cheering fan for the greatest of games, the game of life,
This is the beauty, the gift of hearing the songs of the hearts of creation.

How do you let your heart sing?  How loudly, boldly, authentically does it ring out?
How do you affirm the wonder and awesomeness of God who created you to be a creator?
Where, how, what makes your heart sing?

First Day is Multa Bene! Very Good!

Arriving in Piegaro was sensational, a treat for every sense:
As I first lay eyes on the beautiful, simple village on the hilltop as we drove in,
To smell the warm breath of wood smoke emitting from the homes,
To hear the peals of the bells proclaim the time with sweet chiming,
To enjoy the first tastes of pasta prepared by the maestro Vittorio at Osteria Juni,
But by far the best was the embrace and kisses of friends I've returned to.

Life of retreat began with the incredible hospitality of Colleen, Alessandra and Lila,
through the thoughtful actions of preparation, welcome and companionship,
The day felt fresh, peaceful, tranquil, and oh, so graceful.
The simple pleasures of life: good food, gentle nap, worship of gratitude and evening of reacquainting.
It was a return to a place that feels oh so like home in its deepest meaning.

How do we live life as if it were a constant journey home?
How can we use fully our senses to appreciate all that God has given us?
How do we give thanks and praise for all who are a part of home?
How can we fully rest tranquil in God's creation, fully joining in the creation?
What keeps us so often away from this place of Bliss?

Prayer of St. Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
AMEN.

A Mary's Kind of Retreat

It was my greatest pleasure to preach and chat with the lovely women of Church of Mary Magdalene today,, as always willing to share their love, spirit and opinions.  Before and after the service I had the opportunity to share the question on my heart for them, "What would you do on retreat in Italy, if I could pack you all in my suitcases/bags?"  This was a great day for the question, as our text was Matthew 3:13-17, where Jesus is baptized before being sent out into public ministry, it is his official sending forth with the words of anointing "This is my beloved, with whom I am well pleased."  A wonderful start to a ministry where Jesus would be calling us all to follow him, calling us all to be disciples, calling us all into the fullness of relationship with God our creator and one another in love.  I felt the questions of what people would do on retreat was good, because immediately a question was shot back, "what do you mean by retreat?"

 By retreat,I think of time devoted to living fully toward focus on God's call in our lives, beyond the busyness of typical daily life. Time spent reflecting what it means to fully live: mind-body-soul.  Time to consider what we as unique individuals that make up the whole of the body of Christ are to do in our personal call from God.  It is time of sabbath rest, of listening, of being, of breathing, essentially a time to fully BE.
As the ladies shared and made suggestions, I found that I may have wasted all that money on seminary, their ideas for retreat and sabbatical were beautiful and fully encompassed all I would consider essential for retreat.  It will be a pleasure to engage in all their ideas about retreat as we journey together  in heart to Italy.

ESSENTIALS FOR ITALIAN RETREAT, WOMEN OF CHURCH OF MARY MAGDALENE:
Lola:  Sit by a babbling brook in the early evening when the stars are out and clear, read the Bible, fellowship with God and SING.
Shawna:  Site seeing the holy places.  Do soul searching, by talking to different people, learning from the people in Italy.  Find out about God through their eyes.
Arnette:  Go to the top of a mountain, do nothing but be in the quiet of the greatness with a group of people and absorb all the energy you can get.  Be with God on the mountaintop with others. Amen to the cross on the top of the mountain!
Alleen:  Dialog with the Umbrian Women, share it back with the women from Mary's and share our words with them.  Talk about the changing roles of women in their region, in our region.  Converse about family, work and faith in the lives of women.
Bernadette:  Go to the Vatican, to the Sistine Chapel and take real pictures for us, bring us real pictures and rosary beads from the Vatican.
"Unknown Soldier":  Eat healthy, they have such great food, pray often, stay ALIVE, converse with the people about what culturally motivates us, inform us and our faith to live out life following Jesus more.
Donna:  Take cooking classes, it is good for the soul, rest and have fun.
Inez:  Just hang out, enjoy yourself because God is there and will open doors.

"Susan":  "The only time I was on retreat it was a family reunion filled with prayer.  So I guess what is important is adventure, prayer, and fun.  Remember though to take it slow, don't lose faith on why you went."

So in one weeks time WE go, onto Italy, onto retreat, onto contemplating living out our Baptisms.  In one week the Travel with Mary's goes abroad, traveling from Seattle to Italy and we will retreat together, virtually through this blog spot and as always fully connected through the Holy Spirit.

So what is essential for YOU on retreat?????  Feel free to comment!!!

A reflection of Mary - Maria

Passegiatta con mi amica Maria

Maria was a most special friend I met in Piegaro. She has children about the age of myself, so is approximately in the age range of my mother. I met Maria at the Caffe via Roma a wonderful place, somewhat typical of Italian town, where they serve cafe & cappuccino as well as other beverages non-alcoholic and alcoholic throughout the day and into the evening. Maria became my breakfast buddy, we would meet each morning before Colleen and I set out on our study adventures for the day.
In the beginning it was smiles and pleasantries, but we both seemed to want more out of our friendship. So I went home one evening, typed out my biography and google translated it for Maria, she was then able to tell me a bit about her family.... the dialog stumbled as tried to converse. It became clear that in order for us to have conversation we would need a traduttore, a translation dictionary at the very least. Fortunately one of the congregation at Green Lake had given me Rick Steeve's little pocket edition, so I came prepared the next day for deeper conversation.
What I discovered while frantically searching for conversational phrases beyond family (we already covered that) was that all the phrases in the book were either about asking for services or how to brush someone off. As a matter of fact there was a whole page dedicated to "go away", "leave me alone" and my personal favorite "I am a lesbian." Maria and I had a good laugh over that one and decided that this book STINKS - a word that translates across all languages.
The next morning when I arrived for breakfast of cappuccino and pastries, not only did I have my new pocket Dizionario della Lingua, but Maria brought one as well. Over the next week we would use it occasionally to find a lost word, but often we would sigh and look at each other as we struggled with our limited words.
Then came the day I wanted to put flowers out in memory of my mom, who was nothing like Maria, except in her struggle to communicate - for mom it was because she suffered from Bi-Polar and she struggled with life. This is the 16th year of mom's passing and her birthday was the 16th of May while I was in Piegaro. Her birthday was on Acensione Sunday and there was no time for quiet reflection in the chapel at the church, so I went by with flowers and heart to pray on Monday. Alas, after a very long day Sunday the priest Don Augusto was away, so I chose to take my flowers to the shrine crocifisso at the edge of town where the processione had stopped the week before (there will be upcoming blog about processione). As I meekly placed the flowers on the ground, far below feet of Jesus and prayed I felt a hand on my back, it was Maria.

The first thing Maria did was to place the flowers in a better spot, with more honor, at the feet of Jesus. I stumbled in my weak Italiano "por mi mama". Then she nodded and said "Passeggiamo" - inviting me to go for a walk. We walked, looked at the vistas and chatted, I was amazed how much I was starting to understand. It was still difficult to communicate and we agreed that next year I would speak Italian so we could converse.
Maria picked flowers for me and laughed with me so lovingly on our walk. I so look forward to talking with her about her life as a fiashci weaver, to know more of her relationships with her friends and family. When she spoke about of her husband who passed away 12 years ago, my heart yearned to know of the fullness of the story she was telling me that day.
When I returned to Piegaro to prepare for my upcoming sabbatical in September, it was a joy to meet Maria again for breakfast at the caffe. Once again she invited me for a walk, and she winked as she showed me how she has been hiding the flower (they are paper roses) for my mother behind Jesus' feet, a beautiful gift of mischievous spirituality that had my soul singing! My Italian had improved, but not well enough she insisted, and that I would need to work on it! As I am, and plan to become fluent in the coming months while on sabbatical.
Maria was for me at once a living example of both Mary, mother of Jesus as well as Mary Magdalene. Her motherly care was so gracious, and her gift to bring her faith authentically with me reflected the best of Marys.
How have you experienced people who mirror the people of faith found in scripture? Have you found a person in your life who reminds you of Mary Magdalene or Mary, mother of Christ? How have they inspired your faith? How do you model the faith of either Mary in your life?

Coming Down from the Mountain

Life is plagued with ups and downs, times when we are so high, it is a mountaintop experience; exhilarating, full of great spiritual fulfillment and times we fall to the depths of the valleys of the darkest of emotions and feelings of despair.  For myself, this has been a rough couple of years, as life seemed to slowly spiral downward through spiritual crisis of family and ministry.  This time opened up questions for me on the deeper meanings of “home,” “call,” and “ministry.”  On my recent visit to Italy I had the joy of coming down a literal mountain and finding myself full of awe and wonder at the beautiful metaphor the mountain top decent to valley that unfolded before me.  A walking journey that gave time to breathe, experience and observe slowly, savoring the descent carefully, meaningfully.  Metaphors are so often a source of wisdom, and in this instance it was a great spiritual journey that provided insights for healing and wholeness as well.

Beautiful Cross at the top of Mont'Arale

The journey began in a wonderful way in the fact that I did not have to climb the mountain, but was dropped off by my dear friend and the source of my even being in Italy, Colleen.  When people ask how I originally visited Italy, the simple answer is, Colleen, but the more authentic answer is that God led me to a place in life where I was destined to encounter my unknowing but essential guide to this portion of life’s journey.  The “real” drive to the top of the mountain was out of efficiency of time, and because currently I am simply tired, this was a time to rest not work-out.  Colleen and I had been exploring locations for our Spring 2011 spiritual retreat and the Mont’Arale was the last place to take pictures of and explore, so thusly I was dropped at the top.
At the top of Mont’Arale is a great Cross that is lit at night and shines over the valleys below, a great sight to see when we are returning home to the village of Piegaro from afar, a familiar, beloved beacon.    In the daytime the curves of the details of the cross are quite elegant and the experience of truly being so high is wonderful.  I was informed by a local friend, Christiana that you can actually see Rome from the top of the mountain, 150 km away.  Perusia and Lago Trasimeno seem close enough to touch from there.  The vista is all at once awesome, amazing and peaceful through the trees.
As I began the descent a few things became obvious to me, the seasons were changing and the people were hurriedly preparing for the onset of autumn and winter to come.  The grasses of the fields were turning a late season golden along the sides of the road, peppered with wildflowers and busy bees.  The farms of the mountainside were busy with men cutting and loading firewood to be delivered to local homes.  There were multiple families tending their yards and homes; bringing in crops and fixing roofs, once again busy, busy.  I reflected at how much work the changes in seasons, the changes in our lives take, a constant flow of energy poured out.  The necessity of change means the necessity of work, hard work.

Signs of seasonal change, vines wither as grapes and pumpkins ready for harvest.

In the walking I also realized that even though I hadn’t climbed the mountain, the downward walk was also strenuous.  The slope of the hill meant gravity induced heavy steps that wore on the knees and ankles, pulling quickly to invite a speedy pace.  The walk therefore was not entirely in my control, and drew me into a faster pace than I would have cared to go as I took in all the beauty of the countryside, farms and vistas that lay about me.  There were also signs of road-kill, rust, fallen fruit, never to be eaten and abandonment, reminders that this was no longer the mountain top.
As I reached the valley floor, I was noticeably tired. I could see the goal of the village of Piegaro looming on the other side of the valley, inviting me on, looking so beautiful on the next hilltop.  In the valley the river was now a trickle of a creek, the fields had turned away from the lushness of the green of spring.  The roads connecting towns were bustling with trucks and traffic in the afternoon, filling the air with noise and smells that overcame nature.  And yet, and yet…
As I came to the very bottom I heard one of my favorite sounds of Piegaro, the flock of sheep grazing in the meadow, their bells and bahhhs singing a sweet tune.  As I reflected on words of a spiritual advisor asking if I had “hit my bottom” in current life place, I was overjoyed by the sight of sheep.  The Psalmist’s words, “the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…” sang in my head; here, in this place visible, audible signs of hope abounding in the driest of valleys.  I set about immediately to take some pictures joyfully.  At that moment a gentleman pulled up in his truck and speaking in Italian asked, “Are you taking pictures of the sheep?” “Si!”
“Why?” “Per que mio pazzo!” (because I’m crazy)
“Where do you live?”  “Piegaro!”
“O.K” he said as he drove off laughing.
I realized in the conversation that a) my Italian improves quickly when I’m there and b) the most truthful thing I spoke from my heart that trip was that I live, Live, LIVE in Piegaro.  For all the confusion and muddle of the last 2 years, I had found a place to live and breathe Spirit that fed my soul, in God’s time, at my time of greatest need.  As I began, re-energized, walking up the hill toward Piegaro, I thought of all the beautiful reflections from my journey down the mountain:
Life is full of changes, it requires reaction and work. Just as the seasons change, so do our lives.  How do we adjust gracefully, work well with the changes we choose, and those we don’t choose on life’s journey?
What can we do to savor the moments that slip by so quickly, both the times of grace and of challenge, when we feel pulled almost by nature through life more rapidly than we would like?
How do we see hope when we hit bottom?  How do we listen for unknown voices calling us to name our truth?  What brings us the courage when at the depths to speak our truth?
Finally, what helps us identify where we LIVE the life we’ve been given, this one, precious life?  What gives us strength to live into the fullness of that life, and how do we nurture it?
May we all take time to see the sacred in surprising ways, when and where we aren’t  expecting, and know that even when we traverse into the lowest levels of our lives that God is with us, guiding us as a VERY Good Shepherd.

Ah...if you could imagine the bells and bahhhs of the content sheep.