My friend Colleen asked a simple question, “Did you get what you came for?” A lovely open ended question that asked two things, did I get my needs met, and what were my needs. It is such an American type of phrase, it reflects our constant striving for achievement, in particular marked achievement. We were speaking back in November, back when the topic of do I stay in Piegaro or do I go back to Seattle was finally settled. It was Colleen who had graciously extended the invitation to find healing here, a terrific friend who was asking such and important question in the reality that after one blissful year, I was leaving Piegaro and returning to Seattle.
The real reason I came to Piegaro was to heal and rest, it had been a tumultuous few years leading up to this point, and having hurdled over half of what psychiatrists claim to be the top-ten life stressors in a brief time, it was about time. My psychologist, spiritual guide and close friends all felt I was making a good choice and after a year and great financial expense it seems like a normal question to ask, “Did I get what I came for?” In a word, YES!
In essence what I came for was to return to the grounding of who God created me to be, to remember what is essential to me. For me Spirit matters, a light wind, breath of life; a dozen years of working inside the church institution felt heavy, an administratively statistic and business model that sucked the Spirit of life from me. The importance of embracing Spirit through letting go and letting God; trusting that this breath that flows between us all invites us to fully being with others and connecting where we are in the time and space given. Spirituality for me is much more important than any organizational structure. It informs how to live life that is about the walk not the talk.
My dear friend Maria Pia said I was a simple girl who needed that simple life. Somewhere along the way I had clouded this with career, committees and misplaced commitments. I had forgotten the essence of the simple life. To live with a SPIRIT of intention, caring for others as a way of life, not a successful career, but a successful life, the one life we have been given. Our family, friends and those we encounter on life’s journey are gifts of love. To survive as humans we need food, water, shelter and love, creatures die without care of these essentials. It all seems so simple, yet somehow it is so easy to wander away from Eden, from the garden, for years my simplicity was gone. In Piegaro with wise women like Maria and Maria Pia to invite, inspire and encourage my return to simplicity, healing came.
Just as returning to what was essential is so important so does taking all the non-essentials lightly and with humor. For me to recognize how taking so seriously things that were not important to my life, things that agitated for no life or light, to hang onto them out of misplaced obligation was a relief. To go, hey, these are non-essentials and it is just making me squirrely, a darn squirrel in a wheel… meant laughing instead of crying at life mistakes so I can move on, I am sure to many more life mistakes, but in new areas. But oh so much fun to laugh at these than to get frustrated, angry and/or cry for these things that are just not essential. It is the basis of comedy everywhere and we should be laughing at the absurdities in this world as a healthy reminder to take us back to the essentials: food, water, shelter and LOVE.
One reflection I see of God’s love for us is the beauty that surrounds us each day, and in my hurried life, it seemed to get so difficult to see this. In my life in Piegaro it was easy, I had scads of time to walk the rolling green hills, looking at the beauty of nature, experiencing the beauty of people who would care for one who didn’t even speak their language. Feeling the earth in my fingers when gardening, cooking the vegetables gifted from friends or my own garden, smelling the flowers Maria would pick on our walks, all my senses knew beauty. Time without job constraints gave me time to appreciate the generous nature of people, to experience the beauty of kindness that is everywhere and easily taken for granted. It seems so easy to take the abundance of this beautiful world for granted when there is no time to slow down to savor all that is good.
A couple of people were annoyed that my great revelations after a year of sabbatical were simply things I had spoke of or reflected upon over the years, “You could have done this in America,” but it isn’t that simple. For to come to the practice and the essence of walking the talk of one’s core values, I truly think one needs to be at a state of peace, contentment and calm. This very essence of sabbatical, and let’s face it, I was at a point of needing this time away or giving into modern medical practice and entering a psych institution for a while…. In the long run Italy was cheaper for the time spent and tons more relaxing and fun. In other words it was a bargain for the healing.
Now I admit, being back in Seattle, I am so tempted to give into the squirrels of non-essential living, to over-extend my time, to lose focus in my worry and stress over cares of the world. I am blessed with friends here who remind me to keep the faith, keep what is ever important before me, and to live into my wise mothers of Piegaro, Maria and Maria Pia: “pazzienza, pazzienza, piano, piano….patience, patience, softly and slowly, softly and slowly.” Yes dear Colleen, I got what I came for and was reminded that I am blessed with friends like you, Diana, Sue, Marty and so many others that I am blessed in this simple life, God is Good!
How do you remember what is essential for your life?
How do you take time to heal?
We are each given one life, what makes you feel like you “Get what you came for?”
