Travel with Marys: Women of Strength

One of the things the women of Mary asked me to do while here in Italy was to get to know the women of Piegaro, to find out what they thought about some of the issues that touch them: poverty, family, church, and the changes in the world. I wrote one piece earlier, but as time goes by and I was speaking more Italian and become more engrained in the community, life among the village women just got better. What I discovered was that they are as diverse as our own ladies of Seattle in opinions on the topics. Like women everywhere we talk about our lives and loves often in our conversations with friends. One American male was quite suspicious the ladies of the piazza were talking about him, when in fact they were speaking of their health, recipes, their families and local gossip, we all speak of what we know.

But when specific issues arose, so often it reminded me of America, the same sentiments were felt: the young women doubt there will be retirement money in their future, the older ones are trying hard to maintain their level of income in the face of government cuts to their equivalent to Social Security. There is marked less homelessness in Italy than in America, so interesting seeing how their monthly pay average is almost half of the USA. A concern that all are respectfully cared for economically is not that folks take in too much, but simply have enough. Tied to this issue in both countries is that the average citizen has a distrust of their government and how they spend the resources.

Family is much more important than government and is much more talked about. Unlike the USA, folks don't normally live far from their relatives, even immigrants arrive with family in tow. The number of children per family is decreasing, and the number of people getting married later or not at all is increasing. One difference was that I heard more than one woman call someone who had lived with another person for more than a couple of years "married" - implying it was about more than the legal certificate. What was delightful to me was how treasured babies were, yes there are fewer than before, but all are cuddled and coo'd over; babies of villagers, immigrants, and out of wedlock, all babies are precious! O.k. a few side snide comments here or there, but always the baby was treated as a blessing. Divorce in Italy is much newer and still more frowned upon than in the USA, perhaps why many are choosing not to even marry. But all families come together with great regularity around feast tables, whether on Sundays, the great myriad of religious holidays, or even government holidays, multiple times a month the families would gather around the table. If the family was all in one house, multiple generations, or within the village, they would eat together even more often. Cousins, siblings, aunts, uncles and extended second and third cousins would gather frequently, SO IMPORTANT.

The women of Church of Mary Magdalene wanted to know about the importance of church life, here in America about 10% of the population attends church, in Italy it is higher, but not something all people do. In fact there are many there, especially in the younger generations who a cynical and skeptical about organized religion. This in a country with an official religion. Most respect the church, but that doesn't mean attend on regular basis. In the little town of 700 or so, there still were about 15 on average for daily mass, certainly the 3 services on Sunday were full, but not everyone. This didn't surprise me, even though my Mary's gals expected more, partly because the history of Piegaro and for that matter the rest of the world is than faith attendance goes up and down, like all things in our spinning world, just another cycle.

The world changes, the ladies in Seattle wanted to know as inner city dwellers what my rural Italian friends thought of the changing world. The sentiment I heard most often was that life is hard, life is difficult, and all things change. I felt that one of the primary differences, and one I really liked was that things simply ARE, people are who they are, situations are what they are, rather than rating and quantifying all things as better or worse. This seemed to give folks a lot more confidence, less inferiority complex and insecurities. In America we often struggle to "keep up with the Jones'," "climb the ladder of success," "look younger," and attempt to be MORE. It goes back to the word they use instead of "happy" which is contenti, to be satisfied. As we spoke of different issues like everyone, there were opinions, but even when voicing strong opinions, folks seemed more satisfied and confident in themselves in expression. One friend expressed an opinion that the town could save a lot of money by sponsoring less decorations for all the festivals and use that money for the poor....yes also noted how pretty they were.

Never have I been to a place where everyone respected one another fully, where all were of one mind, or where diversity of opinion didn't create some level of strife and conflict. We are all human like that. The things the ladies of Church of Mary Magdalene, the urban poor, cared about and wanted to know about were the same things that the ladies of Piegaro, rural Italians, cared about. No matter where we go on God's earth we have more in common than we have differences. It seems to me that we should focus on what is most important more and see where the Spirit is.