"I can't help it, I was drawn that way"

This is one of my favorite lines from the greatly amusing movie “Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” in response to a comment on her amazing body. To have a great figure is a blessing and a curse and this line seems to say it all in such a sassy way, perfect for the cartoon character. In real life we all have bodies that come in different shapes and sizes, and we move them in different manners that reflect more our family lineage than even the forms of others in our family. I move similarly to my mother, with the added bonus of a slight swing of a leg that is slightly longer than the other due to a sports injury, the result is comically sexy at times…I can’t help it, it is the result of my parentage and life experience.

When my daughter was all of 5 we were walking to school with our friends when the other mom made a comment on her “swing,” she walks like me without the benefit of injury, she walks with a wiggle. My friend from high school summed it up this way at one time: I’d like to have a swing like that in my back yard, can I have some fries with that shake, and you have a fine swing, who is your batting coach? This is the source of much fun, much razzing by friends, and often makes life unfold in ways that seem to contradict the very people we are. For me a person who has led a religious life, for my daughter one who espouses ideals of feminism, and still we have the walk created by the history and experience of the life we were born into.

Take it one step further and there is the gift of being “drawn” by our creator God with curvy figures that people seem to idealize, but the reality is it is often a greater curse. I remember the final interview through the ministry candidacy process when a sweet well-meaning woman said she could finally approve my candidacy because I looked like a pastor, I was wearing a shapeless vintage suit from Pendleton Woolens of the 1960s. To be professional in the church was to look asexual, once that was accomplished I was ready to serve God. To have the figure of Marilyn Monroe I found was not helpful in a life of the religious, for this one person it meant an extra year and lots of fabric to overcome. The creator draws me one way, and well meaning people want it another way.

With the curves, and with the walk I could feel doomed, for this was only the start of some misadventures in the church regarding my appearance. It takes longer for people to take me seriously, but then why should I take it all so seriously? How to use all that I am to render creative mischief seems in due course now. There have been tragic beauties throughout history, such as Marilyn, who have felt doomed by the response to their figures and forms, but why should I? Especially when it infinitely more fun to play it up to the hilt, render surprise on people in fun ways that cause no harm, but in fact reflect the glory of God. My last memorial service as a pastor serving the UMC was for a biker, it was decided by the family that the look was not tragic black, but biker black. It was great joy for me to hear during the sharing of stories in the memorial service that the "Red is looking down from heaven with joy to have a "hot" pastor" (presiding in boots, tights and short dress).

This week I had the great joy to dance two evenings under the stars, in the beautiful park here in Italy. Here too there is an expectation of how a person who is religious is to be, but less so on my figure and appearance than how to act. I was advised on how to respond if my dance partners were too fresh, because it was bad behavior that was frowned upon. Not only did I get advice, but my friends were there to watch over me like hawks. To dance with enthusiasm while people who cared ensured my safety was a gift. Sure, a few teasing voices about this crazy fun, but dang I felt like David dancing in his ephod with joy before God, and isn’t that just sacred and special!?!?!? To not only have time of great enjoyment, but to have friends who support the wholeness of who we are?

I find that to live fully in my "design" of God life requires a sacred sassyness: intelligence + humor + sexy = sassy, when combined with spiritual it is the depth of sensual for me, sensing all my createdness. To honor the creator who put me in this body, in this soul, with my life experiences and education informing my being is to live a sacred life!

How do you honor the fullness of how God has formed you?
How do you live into your creation with enthusiasm with awe for a God who creates us all unique?

Dancing through Life

One of my cousins says her first memory of me at the age of 2 was that I was constantly dancing. Whenever my emotions are high there is nothing like the sweet relief of dancing. A fond memory with another cousin was when we were teenagers, teaching him to dance in the hayloft of the barn, so sweet to share my love of dance with my dear cousin, a strong emotional bond! With the celebration of new faith, many people were noting that I was emotional, which is not a bad thing here in Italy, just an observation.

Saturday night was a wonderful night of dancing for me, my friend Roberta and I had schemed to hit two local dances in one evening; the one here in town at Bar Fortuna, and one on Mount Arale, both outside under the stars and full moon. At last month's dance at Bar Fortuna I gained a new dance partner, Aldo, who is the father of my friend Omar and is equally likeable and a great dancer. For me nothing calms the soul more than a partner who is as content to see me and have a person to dance the night away with as I am. Having danced with Omar previously, it is easy to dance with Aldo, his steps are the same, sweetly familiar, no work, no worry involved.

For me there is a state of grace involved in dancing, when I was young it was nervous energy that propelled me to move and sway with the rhythm of the music. When my children were young it was a way to connect and joyously be with my loves, and now it was one more way to celebrate the love of God, the mystery of new life, and my utter contentment of being in this land that makes my heart sing.

What are ways you use to physicalize the joy of God?
What are ways you use to work out all of your emotions?
How you literally and figuratively dance through life?

Sorry for photos from winter - don't carry camera to summer dances

Praying with the Girls

Today is Ferragosto, the holiday of the Assumption of Mary here in Italy. In Catholic faith it is understood that Mary was assumed by God into heaven, she was received this day. This day I will be received into the Catholic church, returning after 30+ years following my baptism in the Catholic church as a baby. It does feel totally like a reception: reception into a faith so strong with women, miracles and meaning, reception by my lovely friends who honor me with their celebration with me in this special event, and reception into new life, new hope, new possibilities.

In the process of confession, my priest repeated words I heard from the dear women of the Church of Mary Magdalene, from my friends here in Piegaro,and that rang in my ears when I knew it was time for Sabbatical, the words of the Holy Spirit: "you have done much in a short life, it is time to slow down." My priest also advised it was time to focus on the women of faith: Mary, Mary, Mary (all of the Marys) and the women saints of the church as mothers to carry me through. To pray with them, to them, through them, living with the love of those who would offer and do pray with us through eternity, for life here is a brief spot in eternity and we've been given eternal life, an eternity to pray with and for one another.

In life it is so important to recognize the importance of mothers, our own, those who inspire us in life, and even ourselves. To recognize the holiness of the act of mothering that is practiced even by those who have no children, but live in the actions of caring for others. Loving mothering is a divine action of faith, it is faith living and breathing. It is so important to recognize the assumption - reception of Mary into heaven, as a sacred valuing of God of her holy place as Mother of Jesus/mother to God and us all. To recognize the sacred place of OUR mother.

How is your life blessed with mothering love?
How do/can you practice the holy act of mothering?
How do you receive, and receive others into the embrace of God?

Canine or Feline

F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote that men tended to be more canine and women more feline. Here in Piegaro the cats are everywhere, but there are certainly dogs present. The women also tend to be everywhere and the men present, but not everywhere. Because it is something I see every day it had me reflecting on the differences in people and our reactions to one another, especially because people often tell stories of their animals.

My favorite animal is the town’s sweet cat, Nuvola (Cloud), who is 14 years old and is in mourning for her beloved owner who passed away much too young last year. Nuovala, they tell me is always looking for affection as she seeks the love she misses. Being a sympathetic cat person, I spend much time with Nuvola. In the process of spiritual reflection I couldn’t help but feel very similar in character to my newfound cat friend. She has had a great change in her life, she finds solace in a variety of new people in her life, seeking new relationships, but not clinging to one. She will walk up to me talking away, meow, meow, meow, but not stay with me if my hands smell of fingernail polish, she has great boundaries. But she is still my dear friend and spends quality time with me. She has that wonderful feline trait of talking to people who will talk with them, of choosing whom they spend time with, of being territorial and ever present in her turf, and of being most content and relaxed when in the embrace of another.

The ladies of the piazza think that I should find a place in my home where I can bring Nuvola in for the cold or wet nights. They think all people and cats alike should have family, and we seem to be a good match. However cats are so independent, I wonder if she would choose to accept living with the new person in town, of sleeping in a new place?

In the summer you see more dogs here, as everyone walks their friends about town. Canines, unlike felines, really need some control in their lives, they are not independent in any sense, they are not feline. Dogs are pack animals they need their group, beit other dogs, people in a family, or in some cases their pack will include family cats, but they NEED others around to be happy. It is interesting that Fitzgerald names men as canine, because socialogists say that women tend to be the more social of humans, however, they also say that men thrive when they have others around, whereas women can go through their days in a mix of solitude or company. The first dog I knew in town, Lili, is a wonderful guard dog for her family, and if they are in range of view she will protect her yard with fierce barking toward anyone not in the family. When there is no family, or when the family invites you in, she is the most loving greeter in the community. One canine trait is that they thrive with a job to do, many of the dogs here are for the hunting of game and of truffles, and these dogs are truly treasured!

Upon reflection it seems that both canine and feline aspects and traits are present in all people, although perhaps more so in some than others. In our small village here it is easy to see people displaying the feline trait of being territorial, and always in the same places. It is also to see people who are content with specific individuals, but not necessarily all. It is also to see protective traits and the work ethics of the canine in the people here. Pretty much like in America, for no matter where you go people are people. In my time here it has been a beautiful time for reflection on how similar folks are no matter where you are in God’s world. Just as it is easy to make friends of cats and dogs everywhere, it is easy to make friends of people everywhere.

Upon reflection do you see yourself more as canine or feline?
What does it say about your spiritual life?
How do you receive the strangers in the world you meet, how do you appreciate the differences and similarities you share?

It is said that the name of our town, Piegaro comes from a word referring to the plagues. Here in Piegaro following the plagues of the 1400's it has always been important to keep cats... for the plague arrived with rats. Piegaro has been said to be a healing place, I do believe the cats and I agree, it is a healing place!

Everything always comes full Circle....

What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9

Last week our little village here in Italy celebrated “The days of glass” – honoring its 800+ year history of glass making, as well as acknowledging the 150 years of a United Italy. There were events such as a dance competition, nightly meals and demonstrations of glass making from blowing glass to weaving the fiaschi at the bottom of the Chianti bottles. People who used to live here in Piegaro returned to celebrate the history of their hometown.

Yet in this week, I found it interesting that one guest at a local hotel mentioned he was having difficulty in our small town because he preferred to look forward than to look past, but he was very interested in the festival, for festival’s sake. Which had me going right back to my favorite book of the Bible Ecclesiastes, which has been quoted by so many writers from Shakespeare to the Byrds. It has always been my thought that if we really want to look forward, we must look back, because as a people, as individuals, our lives are cycles. Just an ever spinning wheel that seems to return to the same place at different points in time.

In this time in history there is much discussion over debts, countries failing economically, wars continuing throughout this world, and droughts caused in many ways by human mismanagement. This is not the first time in history, and God willing won’t be the last time. Besides these tragedies something else is constantly repeated, grace, the loving gifts that bless our lives every day: food, friends, life and always hope for a world of love. When we are hungry, when our friends seem lost, when our life seems sad, with Spirit, God and resurrection in Christ there is always hope.

Here in Piegaro things are not easy, they are as the rest of the world, facing economic hardships, everyday losses and tragedies and people are in need of hope. We are the same, everywhere, God’s children, and as Ecclesiastes says, “there is nothing new under the sun.” People have asked if it is better economically in America now, as they see tourists here, even in our little village. There are fewer tourists from America my friend Colleen tells me at her inn, but she stays full with Europeans who are staying closer to home for vacations. Even those who have resources worldwide are being more cautious with their money but still know the value of rest and quiet.

Thinking on what my life has been like here in Italy on Sabbatical, and now preparing for confirmation in the Catholic church, returning to the faith of my ancestors, it seems to follow that circular pattern. Troubles, concerns, and worries that felt like crushing weights were lifted when I had time to rest and pray, time for my focus turn to circle back to hope, to mystery, to miracles, ultimately to God beyond institutions. When the celebration of faith is so focused on the mysterious love of God who works miracles of salvation and comfort through Jesus, the Holy Spirit, Mary and the saints that have gone before us; we are transformed into the very witness of love.

Slowing down, remembering what is truly important in our lives, forgetting the trappings of a world spinning out of control for love of money and in sore need of love of neighbors is vital now, and always. History repeats itself, we can see similar stories of angst throughout the ages, throughout scripture….but there is hope, faith, and above love to set us back on the mark. I remember when the first dip of the recession came and the women of Church of Mary Magdalene for Homeless women during Saturday’s prayers lifted up: “I pray for those who ain’t been poor before, it’s hard,” “I pray that if people who need help getting used to being poor come to us, we can help them, because we know,” “I pray that all us poor know the love of God and stay strong.”

Are their times when you see your poverty in life of spirit or material goods and feel the presence of the strength of God?”
How do you utilize the love of God to get through a world of worry?
Is it a comfort to know that even when we suffer that God, through Jesus knows the depths of suffering and is there to love and care for us through to eternity?

Bringing Two Worlds Together

When I entered a time of sabbatical in Italy it was good to be able to continue my connection to the Church of Mary Magdalene/Mary's Place through spiritual writings with the women of Mary's in my heart. But it was a true gift of God to be presented with a new Italian Sister who has the same love of God and care for others in Roberta Niccacci. Soon after we met she said she was sure God had brought us together because she was looking for an American partner to participate in her business of caring for others, in the spirit of this land of saints, and in the beauty of this region known for its amazing art.

It all began with an idea of using the art of the region, specifically the ceramics of Deruta, gifted for the purpose of benefiting an American agency that offers great care and service, Mary's Place/Church of Mary Magdalene, and modeling how business can be at its best a service of care. Now that we have been brought together through the sacred coincidence of God, Roberta's initial idea of bringing together her business with a caring American Service Provider is happening. On October 22, 2011 at the Church of Mary Magdalene's "Hats and Tea" handpainted Deruta pottery of the CAMA workshop were auctioned, as well as tea cups gifted in return for those who gave to Church of Mary Magdalene generously, as the sharing begins.

But the sharing doesn't end there, on Wednesday May 16th at Mary's Place Spring Luncheon there will also be beautiful handpainted art offered as a gift to generous givers, as the spirit of sharing and caring continues. Having a dozen years of relationship with Mary's it is special for me to be able to take the story of the women into this amazing world of God's and find people like Roberta who are excited about sharing this one Spirit of hope, care and love through generosity. We all need one another, whether close or far away, and the more we share the closer we are.

A New Chapter Starts Here – Prayerful Heart

Faith, Hope, and Love are all we need, the greatest being Love…. Yet wars continue, strife continues, poverty continues, to mar the world with sorrow. Many people struggle to find meaning and purpose in this broken life, like me many seek it through their faith. Many, like me, will experience an event or a series of events that take them away from the institutional church they belong to when the answers seem to be lost there, answers they feel inside their hearts but not inside the walls of a church they once called home.
As a child living in a very broken family I always prayed, can’t think of a time I didn’t pray. It did not make the horrors of beatings and abuse rapidly go away, but it certainly changed me, and eventually those horrors did go away. The prayer strengthened me for the often difficult journey of life, and although my life may have been unusually traumatizing, I know that no life is easy, and all need strength to get through. We need the invisible to see us through the hardships we see.
Something happened when I was just 6 that changed my life forever, I went to my grandmother’s funeral. I remember vividly sitting next to my aunties as they prayed, everyone prayed in unity, aloud. We were Catholic, and the sisters all knew all the prayers and for me it was magic, prayer was something we all did, WE….it was hopeful! A sharing of the Spirit, a sharing of love, a showing of faith within the promise of hope.
To me this is when we are at our best, people, families, the church, all together in prayer and the sacred mystery of what unites us. Yet, often in our churches we get tied to earthly concerns, about the numbers and how to bring in people, instead of how to continue to invite God, Christ and Spirit…. It is as if the most important guests at the table become minor players, not just in church, but in the whole of life. For our stories are never about “the church” but they are about living through life’s journey, a life we have been gifted with that is all too brief here, and all to mysterious to ponder when contemplating eternity. We have been gifted with something too big for us to hold alone, we need, NEED that which is greater than ourselves, God.
At this time I return to theological studies, as I re-enter the Catholic Church of my family, although different because it is here in Italy. My studies are inviting me to keep going to the mystery, the miracle and the hope of the resurrection, a faith bound in a love beyond the logical and reasonable world. It is a welcome place for my soul at this time, it is a returning home.

How does the Mystery Call You?
Where does the Mystery take you?
Is God a Mystery beyond all knowing for you, and if so how is that comforting?