All over the world families are important, but it was very obvious to me that in this village it is VERY important. Many of the neighborhoods can be described by the families that inhabit them. One section of Via Industria are almost all one family, surrounding Maria Pia in the Piazzola are her napolti and cugini (cousins and younger generations of her extended), and my neighborhood has immigrant families some with three or four generations in one big house. When you are here for a while you will find out how many other folks are also family to one another spread out around town. The Piegarese all seem to be related to one another somehow, and all hang out with cousins and extended family as they are all close.
This is very different than my cousins and family back in America, where as one aunt put it “most of us stayed where we were dropped,” when my traveling salesman grandfather moved onto another town. Our family is spread from coast to coast, from border to border. I have been blessed to have met all of my cousins, not something all of us can say. Because my Aunt Judy brought the different kiddo nieces and nephews to her home each summer for vacation and we lived in the same city during those years, I got to meet everyone. But meet is rather subjective, because there are a some I haven’t seen since childhood, and there were a few older ones, namely Aunt Judy’s kids who lived with a cousin, that I didn’t meet at all as a child.
We did have a few family reunions, which Aunt Judy coordinated, where I met my remaining cousins, but we didn’t know each other well, and as cousins we certainly don’t hang out with one another like they do here in Piegaro. We actually often converse more on Facebook than many of us have done in our whole lives in person. The passing of Aunt Judy this year rocked all of us this year. She was the one who knew all of our birthdays, telephone numbers, addresses, e-mail addresses and made sure if we moved she was updated. It was shocking yesterday to hear that her son Scott, one of my cousins I knew personally the least had past away in the night at the young age of 52. The stories Aunt Judy told of her son whom she loved and had recently regained a strong relationship with were told with pride at what a good father he was, what a caring family man, and how she felt so glad to be grandma and mom. Family is important.
Here in Piegaro when my friends know my daughter is coming for a visit they smile and share my happiness. They will ask repeatedly when she is arriving, inspiring the familial hope, and they are sad that my son can’t visit. They do the likewise with my friend Colleen as they know it is difficult to be away from family, and they encourage us to bring our family here, as well as to visit them. My closest friends will ask and want my family to come live with me here, and are content that Colleen will return permanently WITH her husband full time next year.
I appreciate the gift of my friends for their hopes not only for me to be reunited with my family, but also that they could come here and the community of my friends could be their community. They have given the gift of invitation into the family of Piegaro. What an amazing blessing from the people I love so much! Likewise, my children have given me the blessing of both saying they know this beautiful town is good for my soul, and is the best PLACE for me. However, they also have said they also want me back with them. My son has said, “We can’t hug on Skype, the computer doesn’t have your arms.”
For me with the admiration of the importance of family in community held closely here in Italy, in Piegaro, there is also a longing within my heart to be with my own family. There is a sense of loss for me that my extended family of cousins, aunts and uncles have always been so spread far apart that we haven’t had the opportunity to enjoy and annoy one another with greater intimacy. As I mourn for the loss of the presence of my cousin Scott in the lives of his wife, children and all who love him, I feel the distance between Italy and the US achingly.
I rejoice my daughter will be here in two weeks to celebrate Christmas and all the hope of the Holy Family. It is time to look forward to the hope of uniting soon permanently in order to live into the grace that I see here every day among my friends, the blessing of a caring, loving family. There have been times in the history of my family where caring and loving were not the defining characteristics, but each generation brings forth the hope that we can create the relationships that all need. In this season of advent, here is wishing a hope of families filled with the love and grace of the Holy Family.
Where do/can you find hope in your family gatherings during holiday seasons?
Many who attend Church of Mary Magdalene have suffered in families of violence, pain and sorrow, what has been your experience of family?
How can you utilize the wisdom of the family dynamics of others to bring grace into your own family?
How do you invite others into the warmth of family ties with you, even if they are not “real” family?
How does the beauty of Christmas, the arrival of Jesus into the family of God inspire you?
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