Walls

One of the things any tourist notices when in Italy is the amazing walls. Whether stone, brick or stucco, they are thick and impressive. In conversation with a stone mason about how American buildings don’t last long, he mentioned it was due to the building materials, they just were not of the same strength. In most of the hilltop villages of Italy the walls aren’t only on the buildings, but surround them and the villages themselves. The walls are there to protect against enemy attacks that took place hundreds of years ago, long before the unification of Italy, centuries before the “settlement” of America.

The walls of the city we designed to keep people out who wanted to harm the citizens of the city. Sometimes those who have been abused build walls to keep people out who they fear will hurt them, and for a very good reason, they have been hurt. We all need boundaries for protection, healthy boundaries. One of my good friends here is helping me learn this essential skill here, basically how to be a strong Italian woman, who does not let men get too fresh.
Problems arise when the walls become so thick they do not let anyone in, when it becomes hard to allow anyone in. We all need others to give us strength, a without angles, corners and support a wall is soon to fall. Or even a wall can simply become obsolete, the threat the danger is no longer there. In peoples’ lives this happens when the behaviors we developed to protect us from others either become outdated as we become older, because rather than protect from harm they keep us from forming relationships as self-protective tendencies keep out even those we could be loving.

If Italian history teaches anything it is that there is much to celebrate in unity, this month and this year Italy is celebrating its 150th anniversary. For all of the walls of the many villages and cities in Italy, for 150 years there has been a common country here. The walls became irrelevant in time for the purpose of invasion from others and isolation of their communities.
Have you ever built “walls” to protect your heart?
Did they prove to be protective or isolating?
Were you able to find a good balance with time, if not what would help with this process, who are those who could assist in this effort?