One of the most interesting things about being here in a small town in Italy for this retreat is that stories are exchanged on a regular basis. If you want someone to know something about yourself, just say it to one person, the whole town will know within a matter of hours. My friend asked today when I was quiet if I was being secret today. No, not secret, but reflective. It has been a couple of days of changes in town, and I'm very aware of my own sensitivity to that right now. I'm also aware of what questions I've been asked, how I've responded, and what questions I have asked of others and their responses. These are things that are common at spiritual retreats in America, but not necessarily common in everyday life.
In every day life in America we don't ask deep questions often, we don't expect EVERYONE to know our answers and we do keep secrets. If you ask me, it is the recipe for the industries of psychotherapy, personal coaching, mentoring, and spiritual direction....as creatures born into community we really do need to relate to others in deeper ways. When I read of America's high rates of depression, drug use and mental illness, I have to ask myself, why? Why more than others? While being here, I"m getting some insight into a different culture that not only reminds me of freinds back in the U.S.A. from other parts of the world, but other countries where I have visited and had the pleasure of talking with people about how they live. This style of life, of living in community, asking questions, expressing feelings, and being open with others is precisely what our psychologists, mentors, personal coaches and spiritual directors try to encourage in a one on one setting. It is very different here in this community, there is a different pace of life, and that is one thing, but as a very worldly friend said, it is different here in Europe, and VERY different pace here in Piegaro. It is an optimal place to reflect.
Some wonderful questions for me to reflect on: Why was I born in Germany? What type/rank military was my dad? What do I write for the internet? You are not like other Americans, why? What would I do, if I could do whatever I wanted to at the end of my 5 months sabbatical? (along with an affirmation that a 5 month respite was good). It was funny when I said to someone I was not like a "normal American" the response was "No, you blow in like a hurricane." Which inspired me to share a self reflection with him, I seem to be exciting, always the "new thing" in each different place I've lived in, wherever I go. Upon reflection on my life patterns away from "normal", it goes back to the questions asked of my birth and childhood, which were not quite within "norms" of American life. And this is o.k. because there is at the end of the day, no one correct normal.
America's normal does invite a need for psychologists, mentors, personal coaches and spiritual directors, it is fine. The normal here is a calm, tranquil pace of life, with a different rhythm. This week, in my sabbatical retreat time entrenched in this village, I find myself quiet, as the calm is disrupted with change and newness in the beloved bar-cafe and the friends who have worked or are going to work there. It is time for this hurricane to slow down and let others spin around, as newness happens. A good time to reflect, a good time contemplate the wonderful questions, the wonderful sharing, the wonderful openness that is encompassed in this life of retreat for me at this time.
How does reflection on childhood, inception, and family dynamics inform who you are today?
How comfortable are you with your own personal "norm"?
How does the community you live or participate in feed your soul to go deeper into reflection?
What questions do you like to ask of others, what questions do you appreciate being asked?
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